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10 Parenting Tips for Toddler Tantrums

I enjoyed my last batch of tips so much I thought I’d do it again. Here are my 10 parenting tips for toddler tantrums.

1.    Identify the cause. Is it fatigue or illness? Is he screaming about not getting a cookie? Did you take his cookie? (Understandable, but shame on you!)

2.    Deal with the root problem. If your toddler is mad at the world because he missed his nap, time outs aren’t going to do anything. However, if your toddler is screaming at the top of his lungs because he doesn’t want to leave the park after he kicked sand on someone, it’s a whole other ballgame. Bottom line: a nap might be better for tired little ones than a spanking.

3.    Non-bratty tantrums require love and attention. Toddlers will throw a fit when they get frustrated or don’t feel well. The more tired or sick a toddler is, the worse the behavior. If they can’t express themselves through words, and many still can’t, they’ll act out the behavior. If this is the case with yours, use your Supreme Parenting Skills to help your toddler feel better and get him down for a nap, some quiet time or maybe try some Tylenol.

4.    Nip bratty tantrums in the bud. If your toddler is throwing a fit to get his way, DO NOT GIVE IN! If you give him what he wants, he was told in toddler terms that tantrums work. Instead, try to distract him or tell him, “Its okay to be upset, but you’re still not getting a donut for supper.” (This also means you have to sneak your supper donut out of his presence.)  Stand your ground, Mom!

5.    Catch them small. If you see a tantrum coming, try to nip it in the bud. Some toddlers can turn it on and off (like mine), but others get riled up and stay there – even if they don’t want to. Try my personal favorite parenting tool: distraction. Toddlers have short attention spans, so use it to your advantage.

6.    Remove the audience. If your toddler is throwing a tantrum because he’s frustrated or not feeling well, remove him from any stimulation or audience. They can make it worse since he’s already overwhelmed. A quiet room with a snuggle in Mommy’s lap can do wonders for a wound up toddler. It’s also nice on an overwhelmed Mom.

7.    Remove the audience again. If your toddler is throwing a fit over a Barbie, although I hope that’s never the case at my house, don’t encourage her by watching and talking. Tell her you don’t like the way she is behaving and that you aren’t going to stay. Let her lie there screaming and literally walk away a bit. Look at something else, and she’ll probably get over herself without someone to perform for.

8.    Get used to embarrassment. We’ve all seen toddlers throw tantrums in public and before we were moms we were aggravated or even annoyed by the screaming. Now we just sympathize unless the mom is screaming, too. As parents, we signed up for embarrassment when we headed to the hospital. Get used to it.

9.    Encourage communication. The more communication skills toddlers have, the less frustrated they get. The less frustrated they are, the fewer tantrums they throw. So talk to your toddler. Try to figure out what the heck he just said – he knows when you’re just pretending to understand, or at least mine does. Teach him words and signs to help him get his thoughts out. Communication is the root of many tantrums. Just think how annoyed you’d be if you couldn’t tell anyone your tummy hurt or that you just want to hold the ball for one more minute. (Ironically, “One more minute!” complete with a held up index finger is my son’s favorite phrase.)

10.    Remember your Mommy Mantra. Tantrums peak in the toddler years, so power through the tough times putting out as many fires as you can along the way, and just remember – This too, shall pass.

August 9th, 2007 Posted by Rebecca | Freelance Writing with a Toddler | 3 comments