Dealing With the Stress of Motherhood
Nobody understands how stressful motherhood is until you’re actively engaged in it. Somehow having a two-year-old and a one-month-old is far more stressful on a day-to-day basis than any of my other jobs (including consulting with one of the Big Five or teaching delinquent eighth graders. – I love the eighth graders, hated the consulting.)
Having two kids has made me tense and leaves me very little time to do anything about it. Here it is, ten o’clock at night, and I’ve got my first break of the day.
It’s made me realize that there are certain things I do to keep myself under control during the day. These little stress busters will have to do until I can get to the gym (some time in the indefinite future.)
My Top Five Stress Busters
1. Talk it Out
I realized with my first child that babies have no clue what you’re saying. This isn’t true for my two-year-old any more, but it still works for the newborn. So, when Brian (the newborn) is screaming in protest while we’re rushing to get some errands finished, I can talk out the frustration with Jake (the toddler.)
The conversation goes something like this: “My goodness! Baby Brian sure does cry a lot doesn’t he, Jake? I really hope that he stops soon, but even if he doesn’t, he’ll eventually put himself to sleep. It’s a shame he hates riding in the car so much, but he’ll have to get used to it eventually. Otherwise Mommy just might go insane!” Meanwhile Jake is sitting next to the screaming baby with his fingers in his ears. I probably could have spiced up the dialogue and he wouldn’t have been the wiser.
2. Work it Out
I can’t get to the gym until they finish building it – literally. I have a membership and a plan at the brand new YMCA (they offer childcare!), but it’s not open until October. The heat index was well over 100 in this Texas girl’s hometown, so options are severely limited when it comes to exercise.
I have found that walking the mall while wearing Brian in the Bjorn and pushing Jake in the stroller while he eats snacks and fingers the pennies for the fountain I use as a bribe burns a few calories and makes me feel better. Rough housing with Jake also burns off some energy. At the rate I’m going I should be skinny in no time!
3. Eat it Out
A personal favorite, although bad for the new diet, is eating a special treat to make me feel better. There is just something about sweets and salty snacks that gives me the energy to make it through one more sleepless naptime. Why doesn’t celery work the same way?
4. Breathe it Out
While walking the floor for the umpteenth time or explaining why Mommy can’t pick up a newborn and toddler at the same time, I occasionally remember to breath deeply. To get results, you have to force your shoulders down from their new favorite position next to your ears and take a few deep breaths.
Roll your head around and exhale through your nose. Oh, and if you’re a jaw clencher like me, totally relax your lower jaw, let it hang and move it gently side to side to release some tension.
5. Force it Out
There is seriously some power to positive thinking. I have visualizations and dreams that go with every room in the house. When I’m changing the baby in my room to avoid waking up Big Brother with his shrieks, I think about how I’ll someday sleep for eight consecutive hours in this very bed. (My husband has different dreams for this particular room, I should add.)
When I walk past the fireplace and step on the little toys strewn over the floor, I think about how much fun Christmas will be as I limp away cursing under my breath. When I walk past the refrigerator to throw away the twentieth diaper of the day, I think about the frozen margarita I’ll find the time to drink (and enjoy) one of these days.
At the very least, I recite the Mommy Mantra
“This too, shall pass…”
