The Art of Sleep: The Baby
I shared with you my experiences and research on newborn sleep a while ago. Now, with Brian getting a bit older, and me getting a bit more desperate for an early bedtime, let’s discuss the middle stage of little ones and sleep. I’ll share more on toddler sleep another time.
As Brian approaches four months of age, his sleep patterns will hopefully begin to settle. First his bedtime will move earlier hopefully much earlier. Then he will develop a morning nap at about the same time, and finally an afternoon nap will settle in. Since he’ll be going to be so early, he’ll probably still wake up one or two times a night until close to nine months.
Older babies will have a few quirks, and this is the marvelous age where many parents begin to fully understand the terms “Cry It Out” and “Sleep Training.”
Sleep Schedules
For the first few months of life, babies are rather unreliable in their schedules. As they get closer to four months, they begin to settle into routines, and parents should help them set these routines into a schedule. It should be pointed out that time and time again, research and real mom experience has shown that children respond strongly to routine. Get yourself one, I highly recommend it.
According to my favorite sleep scientist
The early bedtime may mean an early morning, but that is what is natural and best for babies. Besides, it’s healthier for adults to get up at a set, relatively early time each morning, too. I keep telling myself that…I have dreams of laying in bed until noon.
So, the day with a baby probably starts around seven – mine already does thanks to a toddler. The first nap of the day should develop around four months if not sooner. The nap should, according to Weissbluth, take place around 9 or 10. That means that your baby shouldn’t be awake more than an hour or two first thing in the morning. Fine by me. I usually used the first nap for my daily shower or my first power nap.
The second nap is after lunch, and there might be a third little nap in there before that wonderfully early bedtime. Maintaining a solid sleep routine will help everyone in the house feel more rested and relaxed knowing what comes next.
Sleep Training
Four months is also when things like sleep training start to make sense. Some babies have never learned to put themselves to sleep by four months (that would be my oldest.) Others seem to have mastered the skill by the second week of life (that would be my youngest, thank goodness.)
If your baby doesn’t know how to put himself back to sleep, he’s probably waking you up every two hours for assistance. He might also be hungry, but after about six or nine months, you can safely assume he’s eating out of habit if it’s been less than four or six hours at night.
If your little one requires intensive rocking or nursing to fall asleep throughout the night, he needs help. You need to “teach” him how to fall asleep on his own. This does not mean he has to cry it out, or cry until he falls asleep alone in his bed, but that is one popular method of instruction.
Other parents prefer to use gentler solutions. One friend of mine used a low/no cry method. She soothed her baby, went to put her in the crib and lifted her out again every time she fussed. Eventually the baby was so worn out she just passed out without crying. It took fifty-six tries. But, there was no crying! And it took less tries each time (considerably less.)
I am a researcher by nature, so I read a lot of books on the subject. Finally we did “Cry It Out” and it was rough – but it worked. Jake learned to fall asleep on his own, but he still didn’t sleep all night until he was over two years old. Hey, the kid was hungry – he’s going to be close to six and a half feet tall someday!
If you are ready to take on sleep training, I recommend you read what the experts and other moms have to say on the topic. (I’ll be posting my favorite list of resources later this week.) Then you need to really think about what is best for your family and what you can do consistently. Consistency is the key! Being flaky about routines and procedures will just confuse your baby and make matters worse.
Then, when you’ve got your information and your method, give it a try. Plan on tweaking your methods over time and “retraining” from time to time. But, it will eventually all fall into place and everyone will be sleeping better. (Until he starts teething, gets a cold, has a nightmare, loses his binky, learns to stand, learns to crawl, learns that Mom is still out there, gets stubborn or learns to crawl out of the crib, but I digress…)
