How to Cry It Out
Here’s my method for Cry It Out. There are many different ones and mine is a combination of many “expert†opinions. After all, I’m the real expert on my kiddos.
1. Wait until your baby is at least four months old. Ideally you’ve been letting them fall asleep on their own since birth (after rocking, of course), which will make it easier. But if not, never fear – the end result is the same.
2. Establish a solid bedtime routine. This will clue your baby in that it’s sleep time every night. Be sure you’re starting bedtime around the same time every night when your child looks sleepy (Not after she’s fussing.)
3. The first night, go through your routine. Bathe, rock, snuggle, nurse or feed, and then sing or rock some more. Instead of waiting for your baby to fall sound asleep, as soon as you see her eyes drifting shut, gently place her in the crib.
4. Her eyes will most likely pop open and she’ll wonder why in the world she’s not still in your arms.
5. In my house, I then pop a binky in my boy’s mouth. He sucks away, his eyes drift shut and he falls asleep. There is actually no crying involved with my youngest.
6. With my oldest, I’d pop the binky in and he’d suck while he looked around the crib.
7. Say a gentle goodnight to your baby and leave the room. You can leave the door open or closed. I prefer closed since our house is very open and the TV is right by the boys’ rooms.
8. Sit down tentatively. Don’t bother trying to do anything else, just browse through internet forums or watch TV. You’re waiting now.
9. Eventually, your baby will start crying. She might cry before you leave the room.
10. Now is the hard part. I wait for five minutes. Five minutes can be excruciatingly long, by the way.
11. After five minutes, I rush in, put the binky back in his mouth and pat him. Once your baby is calm again, leave again.
12. This time your baby might fall asleep. Mine did the first time we tried this. But if not, never fear.
13. Once she starts crying again leave her for ten or fifteen minutes. Then rush back in, replace binky, soothe and leave.
14. After this one, I usually wait another fifteen or twenty minutes before going back in. At that point your baby should be asleep.
15. If you’ve waited to start CIO until your baby is older, going back in more than once (for your own nerves) can make the crying longer. You’ll have to decide based on your own baby.
16. Once your baby falls asleep, no matter how long it took, you’ve accomplished the first huge step. Your baby now knows she can fall asleep on her own.
17. When she wakes up during the night, leave her in her crib for five minutes to see if she’s really hungry. If she is, she’ll keep fussing, if not, she might go back to sleep. Make this your rule for the rest of childhood. My toddler still wakes up at night. I wait for five to fifteen minutes and 95% of the time he goes back to sleep. The other 5% he is actually hungry, wet or needs me for something else.
18. Repeat every night. The crying may get worse before it gets better, but after the first night, you know you can do it.
The goal is to help your baby learn to fall asleep on her own so that she only needs you to feed her. And you should feed her. Crying it out shouldn’t be about sleeping all night. It’s just a fast, if painful, method to help your little one learn to sleep better.
[...] we did Cry it Out or [...]
Pingback by RealMom.net » Notes from a Real Mom: Cry It Out Sucks, But Works | October 13, 2007
That’s the most terrible thing I’ve ever heard.
Comment by Shana | January 4, 2008
It was pretty terrible, I’ll admit. But I had a colicky son who is still a poor sleeper even after finally learning how to put himself to sleep.
It’s interesting. My younger son will never need to cry it out – he would never actually cry. He just falls asleep on his own without crying.
Would my oldest have ever done that? Not on your life. He screamed if you put him down on the floor fed and dressed. He screamed if you held him wrong. He screamed if you tried to feed him before he was 99.9% asleep. (He hated the bottle) He was so high strung he STILL cries sometimes trying to fall asleep and I’m sitting right there with him.
Cry it out isn’t any fun, but if your child needs it, you’ll know. There are alternatives to cry it out, but unfortunately, they just didn’t work for us with him.
Comment by Rebecca | January 5, 2008