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Notes from a Real Mom: Cry It Out Sucks, But Works

My oldest had a sleep problem. By four months he was waking up every two hours at night and had been sleeping four or five when he came home from the hospital. After examining the problem and researching it, I discovered that we were the problem.

Apparently, rocking my baby to sleep all the time and putting him down only when he was knocked out didn’t teach him to fall asleep on his own. In fact, he liked the rocking and Mommy so much, he wanted to do it again every time he came out of a deep sleep at night – every two hours.

So I researched my options. There are some ways to go that don’t involve crying, but I was working full-time and exhausted. Plus Jake was colicky and not into gradual methods. He could outstubborn me which is a feat unto itself.

So we did Cry it Out or CIO.

Cry It Out
I’m not sure every child needs sleep training as drastic as cry it out, but if you’ve got a stubborn one or a baby that has been accidentally trained wrong, it might be the fastest, and therefore easiest way to go- kind of like jumping in a cold pool rather than easing in.

I won’t lie. I hated CIO. But it worked.

If you’re thinking about trying it, here are a few tips from a BTDT (been there, done that) Mom:

Go Early. Don’t start before four or five months, but younger babies aren’t as savvy as older ones. Also, if you bite the bullet and start early, your child will be more rested and know what to do in the middle of the night if she’s not hungry much earlier earning you more sleep.

Don’t Anticipate for 12 Hours. Some books and people will tell you that you should make your baby cry it out all night. All night for most babies is about twelve hours thanks to their early bedtimes. I’m not one to judge, but I would never force my baby to go twelve hours without eating. Be reasonable and expect your baby to eat once or twice a night even with CIO.

Focus on the Lesson. The lesson here is for both you and your baby. Your baby needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. She can still use a binky or lovey. You can even still go in the room, but don’t rock, feed or nurse her to sleep. If she’s actually hungry, feed her, but don’t let her fall completely asleep. She’ll cry, but she’ll eventually fall asleep on her own and you’ll be off and running.

Be Consistent. CIO doesn’t mean you don’t get to rock or snuggle your baby. It doesn’t mean you have to leave her to cry for hours without checking on her. What it does mean is that you can’t have her cry on one night and then pick her up the next. Once you’ve decided to do it, do it. You don’t love your baby any less, you are just experiencing your first painful parenting. You’ll be doing it the rest of your life – why do you think parents age so quickly? (Or maybe that’s just me.)

October 1st, 2007 Posted by Rebecca | Toddler Sleep, Infant Sleep, Notes from a Real Mom, Infant Issues, All Parenting Articles | one comment